Monday, July 30, 2012

How to reply to spammers

Spammers, we all deal with them. They are like a bunch of cockroaches that just never seem to want to die away. No, I don't want to join your Christian date site, buy your tractors, buy your pills and I certainly don't want any Viagra pills. And since I don't have a penis, I'm perfectly happy with its size. So, stop bothering me.  I decided to kill two birds with one stone and answer them here. So, the first sentence will be their subject line and the second one will be my reply.

BANG some TEENAGE Pamala into her little kitty
Now that’s just mean. Who would want to hurt a tiny cat….oh! Real mature there, Spammer. Your play of words is about fifth grade level.

Share the ONLY LOVE with Sean who will come to anywhere you are.
I’m at that Star Wars Cantina. Let's see you you make it there Seany-boy.

SHOCKING scenes where two GIRLS and three BOYS dancing in a bed
Serioulsy, dude, as a mom all I’ll do is tell them to knock it off before somebody gets hurt. “You’ll poke your eye out!”

YOUNG LADIES are ready to do anything for getting access to your genitals
Are they doctors or nurses? Otherwise, that’s just plain creepy. And kind of like an Uncle I used to have.

How about, no! You scream too much. Now, shhh….. You gave me a headache. 

Talk to the guy  above. You can wax poetic about your love of the CAPS LOCK key. You can even buy matching t-shirts.

TEEN sluts having love in real time.
Ewww…just ewww.  Hear that knock on the door? It’s the guys from To Catch a Preditor

Don’t let Michele to feel  lonely?
How about you and Michele both take grammar lessons? Then she can meet all kinds of new friends.

Social Network with Naked Teen boobs
Isn’t that EVERY social network? Okay, maybe not Grindr.

Hope to hear from you soon
Yeah…don’t hold  your breath.

Kindly assist me
No way! The last guy who asked that had a trench coat on with a most unpleasant surprise underneath.


  1. What about "Paul's Controversial Video"?

    Both Jambrea & I received that email a week or so ago & she, Perpetua, & I were joking around in an author's group about what "they" (meaning whomever sent the spam & Paul) thought was so controversial, & that it would probably tame by our standards hehe.

    Brandi R.