Yoga-Part Two

Yoga-Part Two

Sorry, my posts have been so sporadic lately. Not only have I been sick, but we lost Ugly Cat. She went into renal failure and we had no choice but to put her down. But, as Joie so briskly said the other day, “We need to stop mourning and move on.” As such I decided to post something funny today.

So, I’m still taking yoga and decided in a moment of extreme insanity that I was ready to take a hot yoga class. As I entered the ‘tea room’ I should have realized I was in trouble. While I’ve lost some weight, I still have some very generous curves. On the other hand, everybody else getting ready for the class was thinner than Twiggy on a diet.

I’d worn all black in an attempt to look thinner, but as soon as I spotted their narrowed eyes expressions, I realized I’d failed. I could almost feel them scrutinizing every bulge, ripple and roll on my body. But, fool that I was, I still smile and got out my matt.

As I walked out, they already had the heaters on and I could feel myself sweating. This is even before I began my pre-class meditations. As the supermodels all laid out their mats, instead of getting into my Zen all I could think about is, “I’m going to die. There is no way I can survive this kind of class. They’ll have to peal my limp, stinky body off the floor at the end of class.”

So, the class begins. At first I’m doing fine and keeping up. Sure, I may already have sweat trickling down my back, but I am woman and I can do this!  Or…maybe not. After five minutes they really get started and so begins my decent into hell. I am serious, too, I swear there was more than once where the Prince of Darkness actually laughed at me. That sneaky bastard.

Halfway during the class, I want to run away and hide out in the bathroom than assume the fetal positions. And before you all judge me that would still count, since that is a position in yoga.

To make matters worse, they keep telling me to do multiple things…engage my core…breath deep…find myself…keep my eyes closed. I really tried to do them all. Just so my instructors know, whenever they tell me to relax my jaw, I assume what I call the Kristen Stewart face. Seriously, have any of you ever seen her with a closed mouth? I suspect she may have a sinus issue and is a mouth breathing.

Anyways…moving on. Just as I was about to crumble into a pile and cry harder than Ben Stiller in There’s Something About Mary, I notice something—I’m not the only one who is having trouble. In fact, ALL of the class is struggling. That’s when I remembered one of the most important lessons of yoga, there is no judgment, there is only you.

Then I pushed on. Sure, I may have had to modify some of the poses, but I go through. In fact, I told the instructor, who is actually one of the most amazing women I have ever met, that I will see her next class.

It seems that every time that I go to yoga, I learn something new. Today was, it’s okay to look a fool, because deep inside we all feel that we look the same way. All that matters is that we push on. But, don’t think I’m going to convert to vegan anytime soon. I need meat in my life.

So, I dug up this Erin Foley clip. Not only does it talk about her own experiences at the gym, but she also makes a swipe at vegan cookbooks. I love that lady.

The Gay Van

It’s been a month since my seventeen-year old son, Cody, came out. For the most part things have been going great. Both sides of the family fully accepted him for who he is, he has a great group of friends and he’s so much more comfortable in his skin. A couple of months ago, he even started the first GSA ever at his high school.

Nearly all of the administration and staff at his school supported him. He did have some issues with getting one of the secretaries to announce the meetings and the school librarian has decided that he deserves a hundred or so dirty looks. His principle was the hardest one to deal with, however. When they first started the GSA, Cody and his friends put several posters up. Before that first day was even over, Cody was summoned to a meeting with the principle.

Cody walked into his advisors room and was promptly handed one of his posters. He was then told that they’d already received numerous calls from concerned parents. (Mind you the school day wasn’t finished, yet.)

“I’m sorry, but I don’t see any problems,” Cody said after he’d scanned the poster.

The principle pointed. “It’s this word ‘Allies’.”

“Well sure, it’s a club for Gay and Straight Students plus their Allies,” Cody replied with a confused shrug.

“We think that may sound a little too militant and some of the parents agree.”

The principle than insisted on attending the first meeting, to make sure that “this group was run correctly.” Imagine his shock and disappointment when twenty-eight kids showed up. Many of them told Cody that they had to lie to their parents about where they were because they were terrified to tell their family they’re gay. Now they have a place where they can go and be accepted, a group where they can be who they are without fear of judgment.

That was the first of what has now been four meetings. During the latest round of poster hanging, Cody started to walk down the hall when he heard someone yell, “That’s so gay!”

Cody turned and saw a senior boy pointing to the poster. Keeping a straight face, Cody replied, “Yes, it is gay. Literally, it is. Congrats on finally getting something right.”

I just learned tonight that one of his friends’ father doesn’t want her hanging around Cody because he’s gay. I started to get outraged until Cody told me it wasn’t worth getting that worked up over. His logic is he thinks so little of people who are hateful that their opinions mean nothing to him. His words did calm me down some, but I still want to go over to the jerk’s house and kick him in the shins. Then I remembered a skit I saw on LOGO. It’s a comedian name Erin Foley and she’s discussing the Gay Recruit Van. I went and watched it again that her hilarious outtake made me feel a little bit better.   

Gay Video & Lesbian Movies - Logo: Fierce TV