Thursday, November 10, 2011

My Motivation

Let me start off by saying *whew* what a week this has been. It’s a good thing I’m not at NOLA anymore or else I would have downed way too many Hurricanes to get over all the stress.

Now, I’m not going to rehash everything that has happened, because we’ve all been there enough times and beaten that horse to death numerous times over. So, why am I writing this, you ask? Well, there is one subject I want to touch on, it’s why I write in this genre and the issue that has come up about why I am such an adamant supporter of GBLTQ issues. That can be summed up with one picture.

That’s my son, Cody. Pretty cute, huh? Okay, maybe it’s the proud mother in me, but I just think he’s perfect. Also, as most of you also already know, he’s my hero. I want to take that one step farther by adding I think all LGBTQ kids are my heroes.

They face bullying, hatred, and intolerance everywhere they go, but they still manage to smile, find good in this world, and push on. Now, I’m straight, but I was introduced to this scene via my son, I met some of the most wonderful people ever and I am such a richer person for it.

I have also seen the worst in humanity. I saw how showers had to be put in the youth area of a local LGBTQ center because so many of these kids are turned away from their families and are on the streets. I have heard of transgender teens being beaten up for using the “wrong” bathroom. I’ve heard the tears of a mother as she talked about how her son and his partner were torn apart due to DOMA.

Each one of these incidents broke my heart, but it also made me determined that no matter how hard it is or what I have to do, I will try to make a difference. I really want to take in every one of these kids and adopt them, but since I only have a three-bedroom home, that’s really not an option. So, I decided to use the best weapon an author has at my disposal—my words.

A few have recently accused me of being so adamant about my views just to garner more sales. Yeah, I’ll admit it hurt that some people thought so low of me. Especially since I’m pretty non-confrontational, at times to the point where it’s a fault.

I just want to reassure you that nothing could be farther from the truth. I am so passionate about this because I am a mother and when I see the world trying to hold down my son, deny him his rights and call him horrible names, I am going to fight back. I would have the same attitude if I were still working at a bank, but as a writer I now have a chance to reach a broader audience.

I have never kept my private life off record. I share pictures of myself and family, plus talk about my real life every day. Some have warned me that this could be dangerous and we did have a small scare last week. It all turned out okay and now that I have Cody home and safe, all is well.

I asked him if he was resentful of the attention coming his way. He just gave me that smile of his and shrugged it off. But, like I said, he’s my hero. He also, along with my sister and friends, have been the ones who get me through tough times.

So, I’m going to continue to do what I have been doing—be a mother, a wife, a writer and an ally for GBLTQ rights. If I have to take some lumps along the way then I will, just so long as I know that maybe…just maybe, someday I will be able to make a difference. 


  1. I know you personally, We've shared food, drink and heart to hearts talks. I admire you. If anyone has questions, all they need to know is that your heart is absolutely, positively in the right place.


  2. I wish EVERY parent felt like you do hun, Keep fighting for what you feel is right hun and the rest of those people can just buggar off.

    ((HUGS)) to you and your family!

  3. You are a fabulous mother, and any person who doubts that is being ridiculous. It is obvious that you love and support both of your children, and I wish more of the students I teach had parents like you.

    Cody is adorable. :)


  4. Love you Stephani! You're my hero. Do not ever change. Cody is an amazing young man and he is so very lucky to have you in his corner. You did a great job raising him. Joie too!

  5. I adored getting to meet you in and your crazy fun sister in NOLA! Anyone who reads your blog or knows you knows what a staunch GLBTQ advocate and proud PFLAG mom you are. :)

    And never forget, love conquers hate.


    My veri word is undedi - maybe there's another zombie movie in your future! ;)

  6. Oh my. He is a cutie. Kind of looks like Mom. :-)

    It was wonderful to meet you and I don't think anyone just trying to sell something can sustain an interest in something they don't care about. Your passion shines through in your words, whether they be fiction or in your stories about your family and the way your heart hurts for those people who are treated unfairly. It's wonderful there are people like you trying to make the world a better place and I'm so proud to have met you and consider you a friend.

  7. ZA-Thanks so much. I can't wait to hang out with you again. I had so much fun at RT last year.

    Tessypoo-Thanks! I think I just need to learn how to develop a thicker skin ;-)

    Eyre-I think he's cute, too, but then I'm prejudiced. LOL Thank you for your support.

    Sharon-You rock! Thanks.

    Chris-NOLA was the best. We both loved meeting you. Thanks for being there for me. As for a Zombie movie, I so should make Jackie watch Flight of the Undead.

    Tam-You made me tear up a bit. Thank you so, so much.

  8. I met you at GRL and you were so friendly and so wonderful and then later when we talked you looked me right in the face and told me that you were adopting me and would be my mother since my own family had disowned me when I came out. I'll admit, I thought it was sweet but I didn't know if you truly meant it, but the emails that I get, the concern that you show me, lets me know that you truly do these things, say these things and take the stance that you take because you do truly care.

    And it's what I tell people every time I talk about "My awesome adopted mother, Stephani Hecht: The Awesome M/M Romance Author." Maybe it's my "pimping" your work that's causing the problem? LOL.

    You're awesome, your heart is huge, and you're incredibly caring, the people who don't understand that are usually the ones who can't understand how anyone could have a heart as big as yours and be as loving and selfless as you are. Keep you head up Mom, you totally rock!


  9. Vic-I meant every word of it, too. I will always be there for you. You are a beautiful wonderful soul and you're family are the ones who are missing out, because I don't even want to imagine a life without my wonderful Vic in it.

  10. Oops...that should read *your family* Lack of sleep makes tired writer make typos. LOL

  11. LOL. Understandable. I'll totally probably regret staying up late to catch up on the shows that I missed over the weekend.

    And btw, your comment almost made me cry. So thank you for that. And that's why you're so awesome.

  12. You know I adore you writing partner :)

  13. I really LOVED this post, Stephani. There is something about sons that just make you love them so much. If only people would keep in mind the thought of not judging someone until they have walked a mile in someone else's shoes, then you wouldn't have been accused as you were. You do what you do for your reasons as do they for their own. I'm glad you do what you do - for whatever reason(s). I do what I do because I like to get my mental freak on by reading your books. I also read them because it is nice to see a part of society's lifestyles from their view and/or a perception of their view. Opening minds even when you are faced with a closed one is not always easy but you do it and I thank you. BTW - this is Laura Aleman Striplin. Signing a post here has changed and I did not know which one to check besides this one :)

  14. Amber-And I adore you! *hugs*

    Laura-As always, you are awesome! Thank you so, so much!

  15. I just saw this post (I know I am slow!) but Cody is so cute! What a sweetie. His momma too. :)

  16. Thanks, Shawn. He's a real big sweetheart. He just signed up to volunteer at our local LGBTQ center.