Bullying. To me that's one of the ugliest words in the dictionary because I know how hurtful and soul breaking it can be. How do I know that? Simple, because I was one of many victims of bullying. So I know from personal experience just how words can hurt. So much so that they all but destroy the person they're directed at. I look back at my middle school years with sadness because of the pain I went through. It got so bad during those three years that there were times that I did consider taking drastic measures. It was only through the love and support of my handful of friends that I made it through that time.
Now that I'm an adult I continue to carry some of that pain around. I still live in the same town and my heart lurches every time I drive by the building and it's been over twenty years since that horrible chapter in my life. What's more, now I live in fear of my own children going through the same thing. My oldest, Cody, faces discrimination because he's gay. My youngest, Joie, has a marked learning disability which makes her a target for being picked on. I know I can't shield them from all hurt, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to put them in a protective bubble so that meanness can't touch them.
I realize that isn't an option because they have to be able to grow and experience life. So that leaves me with option two-education. So, I vow to keep writing and speaking of this topic. If I reach even one person and make them see the error in their ways, I'll call it a victory.
Now that I've gotten that off my chest, let me give you a little information on this video. An eighth grader wanted to show how much words could hurt, so she made a video to get her message across. It's very powerful and I'm not ashamed to admit it made me cry a bit.
Ugh! :( She's very brave!
ReplyDeleteI was bullied on the bus and at school, too... but I think I've blocked a lot of it out.
Chris-I agree she's very brave. The bus wasn't as bad for me, but that was only because my mother worked as a bus driver. So I always just sat behind my driver and she protected me :-(
ReplyDeleteThat made me tear up a bit, too. :(
ReplyDeleteWounds heal. Words stick in your head forever. It's what makes bullying so hurtful. I still remember the curses hubby's ex threw at me whenever she saw me in the halls jr year in high school, at an all girls catholic school no less. Kidlet's in a super small montessori school now and I dread the thought of her having to deal with high school. School should be fun for kids, not a version of hell.
Thank you for sharing this Stephani. And thank you for being a voice. Cody and Joie are very lucky to have you for a Mom. The girl in the video reminded me of my daughter when she was in high school. I was so grateful when she finally talked to her dad and I and told us what was troubling her. She cut. She OD'd. She FINALLY told us she was gay. We love her so much and just the thought of what she was went through still makes me cry. She is 25 years old now, loves herself, all of our family support her and she has an amazing partner/wife. They were married last May. I thank God every day that I have my daughter in my life. Her dad and I are so very proud of her.
ReplyDeleteThanks for posting that and I agree. School, growing up was very hard even for me who was confused. More times than not in the winter I'd get chased home after school with snowballs being thrown at me all the way. I still remember it and I'm still resentful at that group of boys that taunted me the whole time and why? Cause my mum cut my hair really short. Being different wasn't easy growing up...
ReplyDeleteAva-That's so sad and they lead us to believe that private schools are so much better for that kind of thing.
ReplyDeleteSharon-You comment brought tears to my eyes. I'm so glad your family made it through that hard period. *big hugs*
The Fallen One-My heart goes out to you. No kid should have to go through that. People can so damn cruel at times and I just don't understand why :-(
I was bullied in school for various reasons--because of my weight, my grades (which were good), who my mom was, and other things. Of course, my mom didn't want to deal with it. She said if I'd try to not let it bother me and be friendlier it would stop. Well, how is a kid supposed to be friendly when she has to watch her back every minute of every day? I'm 35 and I haven't been able to let go of it.
ReplyDeleteCody and Joie are so lucky to have a mom like you. *hugs*
Being bullied sucks and although my experiences weren't too bad it still hurt.
ReplyDeleteThanks for posting this video. Your kids are lucky to have you! :)
Stephani, Thanks for posting this. It's so sad that kids can be so cruel to each other. My kid was bullied through-out middle school because of his very fair coloring (he's a red-head) and was also called a fag because he's sensitive, quiet and a video game lover. Luckily, he says he hasn't been bothered since he's been in high school where the grades are more mixed together.
ReplyDeleteEyre-I was given the same advice by some well meaning advisers at my school. *shakes head*
ReplyDeleteLily-I'm lucky to have them, too.
Brenda-Thanks for sharing. I just wish Joie could skip over middle school.Maybe then it would be easier for her.
That was the bravest thing I have seen in along time. I promptly shared it with everyone I know. It's not easy growing up and it's even harder when you are different. The scars we get in those 12 years of school, haunt us forever. I hope one day those who have caused us pain, realize what they did. At least then it won't have been in complete vain.
ReplyDeletegrumpybybirth-I hope they realize, too. It's funny,the few times I've actually ran into my bullies, post-high school, they always act as if we were such great friends.
ReplyDeleteIt's things like this that make me even more grateful for not having known anything more serious than the teasing I got while in school. I wasn't out but wasn't really trying to hide it and I could've been a huge target. Wasn't though. Like I said, very grateful.
ReplyDeleteThorny-I'm so glad that you didn't have to go through that. Cody has had a few comments thrown his way, but he has the remarkable ability to shrug it off. I think it's because he has such supportive friends.
ReplyDelete